Do I intimidate you?
Yes, I Like Sex. Yes, I am a Slut. Own Who You Are Or GTFO.
Admittedly I was super excited to meet someone who I felt an immediate connection to; he was somehow capable of bringing out more of me. Like, I can be whomever I am and he enjoys seeing me that way. I don’t have to play games or pretend I am some innocent virgin. Plus, he can cook, so that was a bonus since I love to eat. One night he started acting a little weird and I was like, wtf is up. That’s when he said it. The words I never thought I’d hear come out of his mouth “I find you intimidating”. Sure, other guys have said similar things to me, but they were dudes to me. People who didn’t matter. I thought this guy was different. I thought he understood.
It’s not as if I am completely dismissing him since he said that comment, but I am trying to understand who he is, who I am, who we could be together and if anything sustainable and meaningful could come out of a relationship where the other person is slightly (if not more than slightly) afraid of you.
A guy wants to feel like he’s the only person you’ve ever slept with. Well, it’s 2018. In the world of Tinder and FOMO; in the world of birth control and unlimited porn; in the world of being whoever the fuck you want to be, being a virgin at 33 is really fucking rare. I am not that kind of rare.
It’s not like I know EVERYTHING about sex. I do know quite a bit, since I studied it and participated in it, sold sex toys to the wealthy Cherry Creek crowd for a year and yes, watched porn–both online and live. There is still a fuck ton to learn. I believe that every person you meet can teach you something if you’re willing to listen. When it comes to sex, that’s no different. It’s not just about what you’ve done, but what you CAN do together.
I may have the solution to this intimidation problem:
In any event, I do like him even if he rubbed me the wrong way with his words (and the right way everywhere else), so we shall see if we can overcome this intimidation factor or else I guess the whole “fucking off,” thing might become a reality. Let us pray to the goddess of sex, love, and drugs that this is not the case.